If you’ve been dumped and you’re attempting to move on with your life, it can be really tricky. Perhaps you’ve heard about the No Contact Rule.
It essentially involves cutting off all contact with your ex boyfriend and working on yourself for a while. It can be quite uncomfortable if you’re eager to save your relationship. In fact , how can cutting off all contact bring the two of you together?
Well, first of all, it gives you the time to concentrate on yourself for a bit. If you’re like I was after my breakup, you’re probably not actually yourself these days. If you can distance yourself from your ex, you’ll be in a miles better mental place to pull yourself together without doing something you can later regret (I’ve been there myself).
And secondly, it’ll give him the space to start to miss you. If you back off from your ex boyfriend, he’ll get to feel your loss in his life. If you are consistently in contact with him, he essentially gets all the advantages of having you around, but without any of the commitments that come with having a girlfriend. Hence if you do a little vanishing act, he’ll really get to value having you around.
No Contact isn’t straightforward though. You really have to fully commit to doing it. It frequently helps if you have some kind of friend who you can speak with openly about this. Tell them that you’re going to keep yourself from chatting to your ex-boyfriend for a complete month and have regular check ins with them.
Tell them how you are feeling and if you are having any urges to chat to him. They can inspire you and offer you valuable information during any moments of weakness you may have. It should go without saying that this chum should be someone you can have trust in with plenty of private info.
It will also help to inspire you if you have some kind of motivation to do No Contact. Sure, you might want to save your relationship, however it will help even more if you decide you’re going to reward yourself with something that you enjoy at the end of the No Contact period.
Perhaps it is possible to get yourself something nice, go on a trip you’ve been looking to take, or do anything more that really speaks to you.
No Contact can be extremely challenging, but it’s also a way to overcome a break up. Even though it is hard to do, if you set yourself up for success by getting the right support and motivations, you can make it easier.